Looking Back

I write in a journal. I try to do it with regularity even though, much like this blog, I’m not very consistent. It’s not one of those “today, I went to McDonald’s with Susie and then I…” diaries. As I read through it today on one of my flights, I couldn’t help but notice how it wasn’t about what was going on around me. I didn’t write about what I was going through, I wrote about how it made me feel. It was so much of me working through my emotions and making sense of what was going on.

Emotions aren’t caused by anything but ourselves. We can choose to be angry and bitter or we can choose to be full of light and see the good things coming. We can choose to cry because our flight got cancelled and all we want is to go home, or we can take a deep breath and realize that there’s nothing that can be done.

A simple inhale, exhale and it’s all okay again. There’s nothing you can control except your own reaction and your own emotions and the way that you deal with it for yourself.

Some of the things that stuck out to me from the last few months of journaling:

11/17/14- “There is nothing to fear; there is only love.”

11/14/14- “Positivity and love are the only way to truly win. When I let go of my ego, I feel hope and light flood in. Things don’t always go the way you want by God’s plan is greater. He wants ME to have peace. Thank you, Lord, for not always giving me what I thought I wanted. I know it’s all going to make sense in time… Smile like you mean it. Let Christ’s unconditional love fill every broken piece of your heart. Stop worrying. Stop judging. Stop overthinking and stressing and obsessing and convincing yourself that you have to be perfect.”

10/1/14- “Our meaning is only before God. We will feel alone, but He will open our eyes. His love is forever and no matter what. Let our lives show who we are loved by.”

9/17/14- “Christ is the source of faith. You can’t get through the storm without Him. He’s seeking you out. TAKE his peace. Jesus purchased the final word on earth with his blood. Be still and know.

9/3/14- “What’s on my mind: How privileged I am, how the simplest things in life are oftentimes the most joyful and important.”

8/28/14- “Today I will focus on the present as today’s gift. I will appreciate the past and be excited for the future, but center my attention and my concentration on being grateful for what I have today.”

8/22/14- “There are going to be lonely nights… but cherish those moments. What can you learn from how you feel? What can you hear in the silence?… Turn every feeling into a way to learn something about yourself and make yourself better.”

My, my. How far I’ve come.

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