He is the Reason

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I type this from the final layover of my freshman year in college. I’m finally, finally flying back home to California after spending nine months in Alabama. In a few hours I’ll be sleeping peacefully in my bed. 

This year has actually passed startlingly quickly. There have been times of intense homesickness and sadness when my heart literally hurt and times of insane happiness when I thought I was going to explode from laughing so hard and really, really stressful times when I felt like my life was falling apart… but through all that I’ve found a new focus for the future and a focus on God. 

It’s very odd for me to think about the things that I find myself thinking about. It feels like all of a sudden the future is very real and very near. Careers and traveling and grad school all seem so much closer now. The future seems so close that it scares me sometimes. 

I’m on track to graduate early, probably December of 2016. That means that in two and half years, I’ll have earned my undergraduate degree. That means that I’ll start the application process for graduate schools in two years. That, in turn means that I’ll have to seriously think about where I’d like to go to graduate school, even if I’d like to go to grad school, in about a year and a half. 

There’s so much more than that too. I’ll go across seas for the first time in a few weeks. I’ll complete a full year of a long-distance relationship in about a month. In the fall, I begin my undergraduate research with the graduate program director in my field of study. I worked my butt off and got my best GPA since 7th grade this semester. 

The Lord has blessed me in so many ways. All these opportunities that I have for the future, the fact that I get to go to college in a place that I love. There are so many wonderful people that I’ve met, some hard lessons that I’ve learned, and new ambitions that I’ve gained. I can see the lessons that He taught me through those people and those lessons and those ambitions. Christ has changed my heart in a lot of ways. My priorities have changed throughout the past year and I pray that the Lord will continue to orient me towards Him.

I’ve grown so much already during college. I know the person that I am and the person that I want to become. I know how important grades are to me. I know how important it is to lean on God through everything. I’ve learned how crucial it is to focus the joy of situations and how choosing joy is a decision that makes everything easier. 

I find myself thinking about my goals, my dreams, and my aspirations. Every day, my motivation for doing well is the future. I want to have my options open for graduate school, if that’s the path that I chose. I want to better myself for my future family. I want to save for future travel and mission trips. Mostly, I’ve learned that triumphs are so much better when they’re for Him. HE is the reason that I can do all things, He is the one who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13). 

Most importantly, I’ve learned that it’s okay to feel like everything’s going to fall apart because He will always be there to put me back together, that my triumphs will always be for Him, and that my weaknesses always make me stronger. What an awesome year y’all. Happy summer!

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